The Starbucks Sizing System

C'mon. Really. COME ON. There are so many things wrong with the sizing system at your favorite coffee chain. It really is impressive that this corporate megalith could gain such a following with such confusing portion titles.

After some serious investigation, I was able to crack the code to liquid enjoyment. Here it is: Tall is apparently small. This seems odd to me because my whole life I've been under the impression that tall is not only not small, but big. Is this to say that I, of medium stature, am actually "grande" and my tall friends are small?

Well according to this starbucks logic, yes. Grande is medium. Hold up. Grande, which blatantly means "big" is supposed to now represent medium? This is annoying. When I want a double vanilla mocha chai half caff skim latte, I want a medium...NOT a Grande. Is that so much to ask for?

Apparently it is too much to ask for. So if you really want a large, you better be prepared to order a "twenty" or as the army of baristas would say, a "Venti". O. MY. G dash D. I have to order a 20 to get a large double vanilla mocha chai half caff skim latte now. This is just so backwards. Fuck Starbucks