Water

I know what you're thinking: How can water be annoying? I'll tell you, my friend, water is so annoying when in/on the wrong place.

Sure it can provide for great breast exposing contests, dramatic confessions of love and hydration, to name a few, but when water is sitting obnoxiously on a bathroom sink counter or floor, it turns into one of the most annoying substances around.







We all can relate to this one, I assume. Picture this scene: You get up early, feeling fresh, ready to take on the day. Maybe you're getting ready to run the marathon? Maybe you've got an interview? Cool. Great.


Then it happens. You step in a puddle of water that your roommate carelessly let fall to the ground. Now your sock is wet. Try running a marathon on that. And that job you wanted, forget about it. That employer fellow from CorpoTech will be wondering why you are awkwardly adjusting your oxfords repeatedly while he's talking. Is it my toupee, he'll wonder. No, sir, you may proclaim. I...I...I stepped in water. He understands. That's so annoying! Then he asks you, "Don't you hate it when you're washing up and water drips down your sleeve?"

You can relate. You think you finally connected with the man, as you think about this sleeve situation he's brought up and your frustration builds. This is when you start cursing, "fuck I HATE that." "That piece of shit Water is not gonna get ME again, man. Let's DO this. TONIGHT!" You're enthusiasm baffles the man. Shortly thereafter security shows up and you are escorted out of the building.

Damn Water. What a bastard. Got you again.